He's got a real pretty mouth on him, don't he?

Submitted by reeses on Sun, 2004-08-01 12:00. | nada | travel

We went down to Richmond, VA, for a family obligation. Dinner Friday night, followed by a day or two in Colonial Williamsburg, which I think would be much better as a backdrop for Good Eats than a reason to walk through the summer heat of southern Virginia.

After a few hours Saturday, Kat made the decision to ditch her family and go back to the hotel for a bit. (Said hotel being yet another reason not to let someone else make travel plans involving me.) About halfway there, Kat said,"Let's go to Busch Gardens!" (My girl speaks in hyperlinks.)

Busch Gardens being loosely associated in my mind with Butchart Gardens, I said,"Uhh, what?"

She went on to explain that it's an amusement park with lots of mildly-moistening water rides, and therefore, much fun on a hot day.

This is your cue to leave EVERYTHING but cash and keys in the car.

We waited in line for the last soaking of the day, a line about twenty or more minutes long. As we neared the head of the line, a mountain woman about whom I could offer very little description that wouldn't instantly brand me as an elitist swine, turned to us and drawled under her thick, bristly moustache the words that frighten cityfolk everywhere.

"Where y'all from? Y'all don't belong here."

If I hadn't already been soaked, standing in the sun, I would have thought the warm wetness running down my leg was something else.

As it turned out, she thought we were english (once out of earshot I assumed it was because that's the only foreign "country" she could name) and was merely curious. But it was funny as hell watching her reaction to our reaction to her question.

If by "funny", I mean,"that feeling I get right before a surprise ass-kicking party, guest of honor: me, is about to start."

However, I shouldn't have worried. After seeing the south twice over the past three weekends, I know why the north won. I now know that Cops and Jerry Springer will never run out of "guests", and the Darwin Awards had better set themselves in for the long haul.

I kinda blew that "elitist swine" bit, didn't I?

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