reesesWeb

Yeah, I'm babbling like a school girl with a meth habit today. Because, it's, umm, role playing!

Tonight, it's time for another installment of Why DC Is Weird.

I recently had a revelation that is probably really obvious to other people in general, and especially to people here, but it's honestly something that hasn't occurred to me before.

Several months ago, I had this conversation with someone who shall remain nameless (Hi Scott!) that really and truly confused me. It went something like this, set in an office, talking about cheap LCDs:

Me: I wonder if it has a DVI port. Probably not, because it's so cheap.

Someone else: Do you really need a DVI port?

Me: Yeah, because the ADCs in the cheap LCDs really suck. You don't want one of those.

Someone else: Hmm, can you connect a regular VGA card to a DVI-only LCD?

Me: No, because--

Someone else: Oh, right

Me: -- it's a lot harder converting from analog to digital than converting from digital to analog.

Someone else: Yes, yes, I know, enough with the head-patting.

OK, so this is paraphrased a lot, and too long to be interesting to anyone but me (as if anyone but me reads this), but this is the gist: I have this tendency to state things that people know, or may know, or may not know, or may not know that I know that they may know. I'm not always a dork about it, but honestly, I often am.

Anyway, I really rubbed this particular guy the wrong way. We had a bit of a bad vibe, we worked through it, blah blah. But it still seemed strange. I worried for a long time that I was sending these evil arrogant mind rays out, and I was, and am, but this seemed even more arrogant than usual, almost a Pratsylvanian Count Pricula type thing, and I really don't like being that guy. I think I blew what could have been a good friendship with it, but I blow those all the time.

So, I took some time off, cleared my head, and took a new job. This job has its own set of peccadillos, (oh good god, if it weren't for the easy money and the proximity to home, I'd still be sitting on the couch writing porn novels.) but it suddenly became worthwhile because of a certain insight it has recently given me.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm _really_ slow on the uptake? I rarely forget anything, but I have this tiny peephole to the outside world. Information trickles in really slowly, swirls around the cesspool, and ends up wherever, in some eddy off to the side somewhere, torturing and befouling innocent metaphors and analogies. I don't smoke pot, but I have the short-term memory of an ounce-a-day toker.

This revelation is something that anyone else would have figured out ages ago, but I only actually noticed and internalised recently. I'm normally very good at reading people, (especially clients) but for some reason, this little nuance had totally escaped my notice.

What I noticed recently is that it's really important for people to count coup on other people in the office, by knowing things the other person doesn't know, or didn't think of. (See that earlier post.) It's nauseating to start a conversation with someone, and see that their only interest is finding fault with your construct. Who cares if I pull a number out of my ass and it's not right? How many times do I have to say,"It doesn't matter what the number is -- there's just some number. Don't get caught up in which numbers I actually use to illustrate my point." before it sinks in? Why do you need to finish someone's sentence for them? Why do you need to correct someone's pronunciation of something that has nothing to do with the conversation at hand, especially when you're the one pronouncing it wrong? Why is there this stupid microcompetition between people who are ostensibly on the same team?

Every day, I hear people casually correcting other people in a very ugly way. It's not "Oh, I noticed that you used this API instead of this one over here. I had trouble with that before, and discovered that you really want to avoid that, because it's very poorly written." That sort of exchange is why I like working in technology, and specifically software development. People in a collegial environment helping each other out, pointing out possible hazards to avoid, having fun, building something together. Have a question? Ask it. No one's going to think you're that stupid, and even if they do, they'll forget it when they have to ask a stupid question, too.

What I don't like is hearing someone attacking someone in a way that is phrased nicely, but is obviously intended to assert the speaker's superiority over the other person. I'm not sure if either person is even consciously aware of this, but you can tell their subconscious is wise to the game. Voices rise almost to a screech, the cadence compresses, and it's a truly awful thing to behold, almost like seeing a fight between a couple who are friends with you. Naked aggression that would probably be better resolved with fisticuffs on the playground than not-so-subtle dissing in the classroom. It's the nasty Thanksgiving fight with your Uncle Philbert or whatever, or your buddy jealous of your girlfriend. Just whip your peckers out, measure up, and leave it be. Mene mene tekel upharsin, right?

This is what I hated about Microsoft, and why I didn't stick around. This is also why I like the west coast a lot more than the east, and why I'll be so glad to move back.

If you happened to read this and also happen to be one of the people I peeved by acting like a disrespectful dork, honestly, I didn't mean it, and had no idea how it was coming off. I have huge amounts of respect for everyone, and if I don't, believe me, everyone around will know not long after you figure it out. Unless you're one of the imaginary friends, and I never liked you lot much anyway.

All I have to say is, get the hell away from the beast coast. It's not like this out west. Except at MSFT, of course.

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