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I don't know what it is about Americans, but when we travel to foreign countries, we seem to think we're going on some major expedition into the wilds. To this day, I cannot feel prepared for a trip overseas without a visit to REI and/or a Patagonia store.

It's not as if I've spent much time scaling Kilimanjaro or making a solo trek across Antarctica. The roughest trip I've taken was when I was a kid and wandered around France, from Paris, to Normandy, down the Loire, to the Riviera and Monaco, and up to Brussels. Aside from trips to Mexico or Canada, which are little-known third-world border towns outside the USA, I can't recall having been to any place with a less developed technical infrastructure than Prague or Budapest, and both of those have better cell coverage than my hometown.

I always catch myself at the precipice of making the preparations for an ascent up crumbling Eiger. This Sunday, I was taking advantage of a brand new REI just up the road from us. Let me just say now that you have no idea how important proximity to REI is to someone from Seattle. Think "good schools" or "no violent crime." If you see us without our Nalgene bottles, it's probably because our primary, our spare, and our backup are all in the washing machine. Mention "Whisperlite" to 100 people on the street, and watch for the one who not only responds with something other than a blank stare, but goes off on a rant about them that takes so long he has to take three swigs from his Nalgene or his *$. He's from Seattle.

In preparation for this upcoming trip to Ireland, I had to make a trip to REI. Why not Patagonia? Because I took care of that last weekend in SFO, although I already have my MLC, LBC, and Burrito Suiter, so I just have to see which bag is the smallest we can take while leaving space for souvenirs.

I walked through the men's clothing department looking for what amounted to "expedition wear", but I was really just looking for a lightweight rain shell. I have one, but it's a few years old, covered with cat hair, and it has a smell I'm not especially happy with, a smell I suspect is just water-soluble concentrated "me". I was trying to decide between the orange-with-rust-inset and the blue-with-bright-yellow trim shells when it occurred to me that I was breaking my two cardinal rules of travel:

1) Blend in. My favorite travelling experiences are when the Americans come up to me and ask me for directions. Even better is when the natives have concluded that I am deaf or stupid because I have no idea what they're saying to me in their martian-speak.

2) No matter what it is, if you didn't pack it, you can probably damned well buy it in a store wherever you're going if it turns out that you need it. Tesco has colonised Europe so you don't have to.

Luckily, I needed to pick up some of those "TSA Locks" to give our luggage a false sense of security, so we didn't leave empty handed. However, my lemming-like action (yes, I know that's a myth) made me wonder why Americans are so bloody obvious in other countries -- we usually have new trainers, windbreakers, blue jeans, hats, and either the very justly maligned fanny packs or some combination of backpacks and camera bags. The especially bad examples are wearing tshirts or sweatshirts with some sort of US flag on them, exposing them to the best and worst biases of the natives, and guess which ones they bring home with them?

Kat came up with what is probably a brilliant summary of our affliction. America, to Americans, is the most civilised place on Earth. We have the most and best public facilities, we have the best access to modern conveniences, the safest water, the most ATMs, the best entertainment, and of course the best language. When we travel to savage lands such as France, England, and Germany, where people are backwards, uneducated, and simple, we have to take as many of our modern conveniences with us as possible. I imagine most Americans, when first travelling to Moscow or St Petersburg, or even Poland, still firmly believe that by packing four or five new pairs of Levi's 501s in their bags, they could cover most of the cost of the trip by selling them on a bridge.

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