reesesWeb

I would probably remove this section from my home page.

Yes, I know I'm misusing the term "home page", but bite me, ok?

"With prostitutes you don't have to work out. They love you for who you are."

Sometimes I don't want to crack into a new piece of gum, but the flavor seems to go away pretty quickly, and then I'm just chewing on a piece of rubber that makes my mouth feel like it's also made of rubber.

I want a little tube of flavor crystals that I can throw in my mouth, like pop rocks, that break down and re-infuse the rubber with flavored-rubber flavor.

I could buy 'rubber' or 'plain' gum and then pick up any flavor packs I wanted. A side benefit would be similar to those jelly bean "recipes" from the 1980s -- i.e., eat a pineapple jelly bean and a coconut jelly bean and have a pina colada candy experience. You could throw back six parts tomato, one part lemon, one part lime, one part worcestershire sauce, and half a part Tobasco sauce. Chew for a second and toss in a shot of vodka for a Bloody Mary experience.

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - Sydney municipal officials have paid private detectives thousands of dollars to have sex with prostitutes to gather evidence needed to shut down illegal brothels, an Australian newspaper reported Sunday.

Nine local councils have paid private investigators the equivalent of C$23,150 over the last three years to go undercover and root out the illicit trade...

I've been distracted by lift stuff and haven't posted anything in a while, so I'll do the stupid unimaginative summary thing.

Best movie seen in 2006

According to a log I keep, the best movie I saw in 2006 that I hadn't seen before is "Maria Full of Grace". It didn't come out in 2006, but I got around to watching it this year.

This list sucks already.

Best book read in 2006

According to another log I keep, "The Gospel According To Jesus Christ," by Jose Saramago. I'm not done with Against the Day yet, but I don't think it's better than this one anyway, based on the first 700 pages or so.

1) Moved into new house.
2) New house was burgled about two weeks after move-in, lost almost all electronics (except Macintosh computers, natch) and lots of jewelry. Good news - I get to seek out and buy new watches! And tv, and laptops, and monitor, and cell phones, and wedding ring for Kat. Who knows what else?
3) New italian greyhound puppy.

More later, probably mostly about #3. The Internet was designed to disseminate pet pictures, after all, and I have a new digital camera (see #2) to help.

This is for the females in the audience.

If you're out with another couple, and for some godforsaken reason you think it's appropriate to say,"She's way prettier than I am," what is the appropriate response?

I went with,"her ass was much bigger than yours," which I think was the smart move (don't lie and point out a flaw), but what's the right play here?

a) Lie completely. "Of course not. You're much prettier." (regardless of relative attractiveness)

b) Change the subject. (Shit, is that a wildebeest?)

c) Dissemble. (See above)

d) Agree. (No shit. Would you drive yourself home so I can get a crack at that? I think I can totally pull that away from him.)

It took about thirty seconds in the bar before some friends and I (I think I was first, thankyouverymuch) noticed the scene captured in the photo above.

This hand did not move, not even wiggle, for the forty five minutes we were watching, until it was removed before the "couple" exited. The guy didn't even wash his hand afterward.

Did I mention that this was at 6:45pm?

Needless to say, there are about 20 camera phones with this picture, and the gentleman received a standing ovation upon his departure. Apparently he didn't understand that having your back to a bar full of drunks with your hand down a girl's pants could be considered chumming.

In re the "I am stupid and I bought the wrong Core 2 Duo CPU to upgrade my Mac Mini" saga, I did put the CPU up on EBay.

And made more than I spent on it.

In between the time I bought it and the time the auction closed, the supplies for the E6600 (even which, it turns out, does not overclock as well as one of the less-expensive chips, if you're stupid and cheap and into that kind of thing) dried up all over the place and the prices of the remaining chips jumped up an average of about $40-50.

Kat is astonished that I have this kind of luck, and I have no idea what causes it. Delicious Monster's Library (otherwise pretty much a piece of crap) uncovered this for me some time ago, when I scanned in most of my DVDs, had it grab current data for all of them from Amazon.com, and then sorted by "current value".